Navigating the Holidays with Grace

Now that the holiday season is upon us, you may find yourself feeling stressed, anxious, or even depressed when festivities come to mind. Do you secretly cringe when you receive an invitation? Do you feel obligated to attend gatherings or events even though you barely have time or energy? Is your anxiety screaming at you to stay home? Perhaps you are missing a loved one and you simply don’t feel festive. Whatever your reason for discomfort, your feelings matter. The holidays bring up feelings for everyone, whether pleasant, unpleasant, or somewhere in between. Take the time to validate your feelings and the feelings of others. If you receive an invitation, but are fighting feelings of anxiety, stress, or depression, here are some general tips for navigating the holiday festivities with grace:

Go to the Event, but Take Breaks

Attend the event or gathering. Take 15 minutes to yourself every so often if you need to get away. Step outside, go to the bathroom, go to a less populated area of home/building, etc. You can also put on headphones (have a great playlist ready on your phone). If you step outside, remember to try not to wander too far from everyone and communicate so others know where to find you when you step away. Always be aware of your surroundings. It’s sad, but crime is real.

Go to the Event, But Limit Your Time

Attend the event or gathering, but only plan to stay for an hour. If you are having a great time, you can stay longer, but if you want to leave, do so after you’ve been there for an hour. This way, you’ve shown your face, hopefully offered support where needed, and still managed to leave some room for self-care.

Go to the Event, and Volunteer to Help

Have you ever noticed how busy hosts can be? There’s usually so much that needs to be done, and your help might be a welcome gift! Volunteer to help set up furniture and decorations. Arriving early may actually help alleviate any anxiety. Being helpful to others can also help with the holiday blues. Volunteer to go to the store for last minute items. Volunteer to help in the kitchen. Look for opportunities to help the host and the night will be over before you know it!

Opt Out Altogether

If you really don’t want to go, don’t go. Your mental health is important. If you believe that attending a family gathering or other event would mean overextending yourself, then it is okay to say, “No, not this time.” This doesn’t mean never again, it simply means not now, and that is perfectly reasonable. If you’d still like to show love or offer support, consider sending a card, flowers, or something. You may even contribute to the meal or decorations financially or by sending some items. There are an abundance of catering options and gift baskets from which to choose. Consider attaching a brief card, “Thinking of you…” “So thankful for you…” “You are appreciated…” etc.

Do Something Else (Leave Social Media Alone)

Not going out does not mean stay in bed all day. It also doesn’t mean watching everyone else do whatever they’re doing on social media and making unfair comparisons against yourself all day. Get up, bathe, eat, go for a walk. Even if you don’t go out, do something. Do a puzzle, read a book, use google to explore hobbies if you don’t have one. Put some music on and have a dance party of one if you want! Don’t get caught up in what you should do. Consider how you want to feel and do something that will help you feel that way. If you feel sad, but want to feel happy, maybe you should watch a comedy. If you feel lonely, but want to feel connection without being around crowds, you may wish to call, text, or video chat a friend. You may choose to go help a neighbor. Bake cookies, color a picture, learn a new skill. Don’t allow yourself to stay in your head. Get up and do something. You might stumble upon a new tradition of your own!

Move Your Body

Exercise has so many great benefits that you’ve probably already heard about, so I won’t go into a long rant here. Whether you attend an event or opt to stay home, find a way to get moving in the capacity that your body allows. Exercise is a natural and inexpensive mood booster. Don’t make excuses and don’t wait until you feel like exercising. You most likely never will. March in place in front of the tv if it’s too cold to go outside. Do what your body can do.

The main point is you have a choice as to how you spend the holiday season. Others may not always like your decisions, but you must fill your own cup first so that you can be there for others. Taking care of yourself is important and when you do it in a responsible way, others may not like it, but they may respect you more for doing so.

If you think you may need a little more support during this holiday season, feel free to reach out to me and set up an appointment by clicking here.